Wait, this isn't homework...

It's been over a month since my last post and I blame that on the overly optimistic Carrie who, at the time, thought she'd have time to blog once a week or so. That Carrie was terribly mistaken.

I am completely overwhelmed. School and work have taken over my life and I'm not sure when, or if, I'll ever get it back. I feel awful because I'm sure there are a lot of folks who feel neglected and ignored. I've straight up forgotten to respond to emails, facebook messages, text messages. I have been asleep at pathetically early hours and missed phone calls. I've also had to cancel most of the plans I end up making.

I guess I should have expected having no time when I enrolled at two different schools. I was really crazy to think that working while going to these two schools would yield me any free time. I promise if I missed a call or message I am not ignoring them. I just happen to remember them in tiny moments of clarity and then realize, "Hey you called a month ago, whats up?" sounds absolutely silly.

Not having time for anyone also translates into not having time for myself either. If I have spare time I'm usually trying to catch up on sleep. If I'm lucky I can sneak in Bunco, or Psychic Night. I also was able to see Thor 2 and like most women, I am now completely in love with Tom Hiddleston...but I doubt I would have time for him anyway.

I guess I could find a little time...

I also had brunch with Rachael and had an epic Bloody Mary.

Though she is not yet aware, I fully intend to make Brunch, Bloody Marys, and Books and regular thing...at least every other month or so! I supposed being able to break away from the insane heaps of homework four times in a month is pretty good in retrospect.

So you see, not all bad. I can't really complain (too much). I just wish I could adopt the attitude that one of my classmates has. She said that yes this program is hard, but she worked really hard to get here and she's just as happy with struggles as she is with the triumphs. But, as you may know, I like to complain so I just can't get on her level of bliss over some stupid busy work quizzes.

As for my original purpose for this blog, fitness and health and whatnot, I am happy to report that I have switched gyms and I love it.

Planet Fitness > L.A. Fitness

While Planet Fitness doesn't have a pool, which will suck if I train for the Tri next year, it is so much nicer. When I hit the locker room it always smells like someone just cleaned it. Also, the lack of gross sweat stained rug is a huge plus. The staff is friendlier and there are so many machines that I think it's impossible to even wait for a treadmill. Plus, it's open 24/7 which is nice.

No, I'm not working out in the middle of the night but it's nice to have the option to get a jog in after work if I couldn't before hand. L.A. Fitness was only open 8a-8p on the weekends which really doesn't work for me if I'm working 7a-9p. Besides, Planet Fitness has sweet massage chairs, hydro massage beds, and little tootsie rolls all over the place. Oh! And I can bring a guest each time, unlimitedly, so if anyone is looking to try it out I will gladly take you with me.

I've been getting back into the swing of Weight Watchers as well. Instead of going to meetings I am doing the program online and through my WW app. My friend Jack is also trying to lose, though he is doing a different program, and we keep each other accountable by weighing in at work every Tuesday. It's nice because I make many bad food-related decisions at work, mostly out of pure laziness. Having someone to talk me out of that milkshake when I'm feeling down is definitely helpful.

My weight has been slowly getting back down to where it was in February. Nothing terribly drastic, but I've lost a few pounds. With my stress level and the holidays approaching I'll be happy just to keep myself from gaining an excessive amount. Of course, the goal is always to lose. I am also making some progress on the jogging. I find that I am able to sustain a slow jog for longer just from being persistent. Thanks to some helpful advice from another classmate, who ran in college, I've found a little structure to the madness and I think I might be able to jog a full 30 minutes before the year is out.

So that's about it. Work, school, homework, work, school, homework. infrequent times for me to see the people I miss dearly, work, sleep (just kidding homework), school, work, school.

Even though I am off this weekend I will be spending the bulk of my days hiding at the library finishing my tech projects. Woo! Just exciting times in the life of Carrie.

New Beginnings

I feel like I've written a post that was titled "New Beginnings" before.

I'm gonna make this go of Weight Watchers work. I'm gonna stick to this fitness plan I have laid out. I'm going to start being a week ahead of my homework instead of frantically finishing papers the day before they're due.

I always find myself starting over in some sense of the word. Hopefully, this time will stick.

If this is your first encounter with my writing, I have another blog called A Girl's Gotta Tri. If you're interested in reading my adventures in training for, and completing, a super sprint triathlon I encourage you to check it out. While I loved writing A Girl's Gotta Tri I felt restricted to only writing about Tri related activities. I also got lazy and updated too infrequently.

That's what A Penguin's Progress is for. A new start to represent a new stab (and hopefully last) at this long process. It's not just about a certain number on the scale or a specific pants size. It's about learning to love myself, no matter how many times I have to begin again, and choosing to be happy instead of letting my life overwhelm me.

Plus I love penguins so the name seemed perfect.

Now I need to reign myself in. I am stressed and tired. I'm constantly doing homework, freaking out about huge tests that I can't imagine studying enough for, and letting myself use any excuse to be lax with my eating and exercise habits. These are things I need to work on. It's time to get back on track.

In February of this year, after working hard to become healthier and happier, I had lost 45.4lbs. Over the course of 10 months I found myself at the lowest weight I had ever been. Now, eight months later, I have gained back 18.2 pounds. While I am trying not to beat myself up about it, my confidence has taken a big hit.

In "Kicking Batmans Ass" I shared that I had previously been unable to ride The Batman Ride at Six Flags Great America. Check out the post here. After losing weight, victorious, I was able to ride comfortably and ecstatically. Unfortunately, I returned to Six Flags on Sunday and I was unable to ride... again. My friend Kathy insisted that my chest was to blame, which was sweet of her, but I knew the real reason.

The 18.2 pounds I had gained back had finally manifested themselves into something tangible. Until then, they weren't totally obvious in my everyday life. My clothes still fit and in some cases my fitness had increased but when I tried to clasp the belt on the front of that harness I could not get it to touch, much less lock. So I waited, as I had years before, for my ride companion to enjoy the ride while I tried to pretend that it didn't bother me. I had undeniable proof of what I had been suspecting for some time. I was gaining and there wasn't a thing I was doing to stop it.

It's time to start over, to begin again.

So now I can sit here and make excuses. I can complain. I can blame the stress, or the headaches, or the food.

Or I can understand my mistakes and learn from them. I can pick myself up and start over. I can lose those 18 pounds again and keep going. I can make changes. I can be stronger and I can make this my last "new beginning".