I'm gonna make this go of Weight Watchers work. I'm gonna stick to this fitness plan I have laid out. I'm going to start being a week ahead of my homework instead of frantically finishing papers the day before they're due.
I always find myself starting over in some sense of the word. Hopefully, this time will stick.
If this is your first encounter with my writing, I have another blog called A Girl's Gotta Tri. If you're interested in reading my adventures in training for, and completing, a super sprint triathlon I encourage you to check it out. While I loved writing A Girl's Gotta Tri I felt restricted to only writing about Tri related activities. I also got lazy and updated too infrequently.
That's what A Penguin's Progress is for. A new start to represent a new stab (and hopefully last) at this long process. It's not just about a certain number on the scale or a specific pants size. It's about learning to love myself, no matter how many times I have to begin again, and choosing to be happy instead of letting my life overwhelm me.
Plus I love penguins so the name seemed perfect.
Now I need to reign myself in. I am stressed and tired. I'm constantly doing homework, freaking out about huge tests that I can't imagine studying enough for, and letting myself use any excuse to be lax with my eating and exercise habits. These are things I need to work on. It's time to get back on track.
In February of this year, after working hard to become healthier and happier, I had lost 45.4lbs. Over the course of 10 months I found myself at the lowest weight I had ever been. Now, eight months later, I have gained back 18.2 pounds. While I am trying not to beat myself up about it, my confidence has taken a big hit.
In "Kicking Batmans Ass" I shared that I had previously been unable to ride The Batman Ride at Six Flags Great America. Check out the post here. After losing weight, victorious, I was able to ride comfortably and ecstatically. Unfortunately, I returned to Six Flags on Sunday and I was unable to ride... again. My friend Kathy insisted that my chest was to blame, which was sweet of her, but I knew the real reason.
The 18.2 pounds I had gained back had finally manifested themselves into something tangible. Until then, they weren't totally obvious in my everyday life. My clothes still fit and in some cases my fitness had increased but when I tried to clasp the belt on the front of that harness I could not get it to touch, much less lock. So I waited, as I had years before, for my ride companion to enjoy the ride while I tried to pretend that it didn't bother me. I had undeniable proof of what I had been suspecting for some time. I was gaining and there wasn't a thing I was doing to stop it.
It's time to start over, to begin again.
So now I can sit here and make excuses. I can complain. I can blame the stress, or the headaches, or the food.
Or I can understand my mistakes and learn from them. I can pick myself up and start over. I can lose those 18 pounds again and keep going. I can make changes. I can be stronger and I can make this my last "new beginning".
